And There She Goes!!!

Yesterday I said goodbye to a very good friend. And I realized that "goodbye" is probably the toughest word of English language.

We had shared so many things. We shared music, food, pranks, stories, poetry, gossip at the window. We were inseperable. She brought out two sides in me that I knew existed but never accepted them. She brought out the poet and the writer in me. She connected me back to my poetic side. No matter how melancholy this personality was, it brought me some relief. And the writer part, I owe it to her. She is my "alice". She truly is that nutty yet affalable character that everybody has loved so much. She never got to see the composer side. I never showed it to her. We did have one brief conversation about it but that's that. Nothing more. Someday I will share my compositions with her as well.

But I doubt if that someday will ever come. She doesn't have a good track record when it comes to staying in touch with friends. She has given me the virtuality bullshit too many times. And this time I am afraid it's going to be the same. After so many wonderful moments I am scared that we are going to be reduced to virtual friends who do know that the other exists but never get in touch or exchange a hello.

And now that she is gone I dont know how much we will be able to sustain. It has always been easy for people to let me go without fighting for me. This time it might be the same. I know parting was hard for her too. But it has to be seen whether she lets me go or holds on.

But for now all I can do is let her go, wish her luck with her new life, and wish somewhere deep down in my heart that we stay the same. I know its wishful thinking but at least I can wish. After all she is starting a new chapter in her life. She is going to the man she has always loved unconditionally.

So all the best "alice". May you keep smiling for the rest of your life.

The Hair Knot Did It

Not very long back I was questioned over my integrity and my professional values. I was hurt. But more than that I was wild. I was so wild that I tied a knot to my hair like world's greatest politician, Chanakya, and made a promise to myself. I told myself that I will get this man to respect me for my job and my work. I will show him how critical role I play in this circus that he has going around. I will show him that I am not just another person that he can kick around.

And now I have done it. Finally, the man has realized that what I do is far more than what is visible. He has finally realized that he will have to treat me with respect if he wants to keep things sane and streamlined. But more importantly, he has to respect my experience and my art. He admitted in the meeting that he respects me for what I do and how I manage to handle so many things and issues and still come up with good output.

At least the professional front has been taken care of.

Holi Celebrations

Enjoyed the Holi - the festival of colors with friends. Some memorable moments from our celebrations.

One More for My Angel Today!!!

jane kyu aisa lagta hai uske aane se
uska intezaar tha mujhe zamane se

naya naya rishta hai usse mera abhi
magar lagte hai yeh talluk purane se

dil mein ghar kar gaya woh jane kaise
irade se mile the hum ya sirf bahane se

ankhon ki nami hoton ki hasi padhta hai
maano fark padta ho use mere muskurane se

woh marham lekar jab aakar khada huva
kuchh zakhm khole maine bhi purane se

ruh mein jhankkar meri jab dekha usne
kuchh bhi na chhup saka lakh chhupane se

koi to baat hai mere humdum me varna
apno ki chot koi baat ta nahi begane se

Today is the Day

Today is a big day for me.

I finally took Violet Blues to another level if you know what I mean. Violet and April have found their true calling.

I also achieved one more thing. I wrote a poem for my angel and gave it to her. Now all those who know me know that I never do this kind of thing. In fact, I am always trying to keep this poet inactive. But today I just showed her one good poetry piece I stumbled upon the web. I started joking how it was suited to her. And then she asked me to create something custom made for her.

My jaw dropped and my eyes fell out of their sockets. She is so uptight and within her boundaries that when she asked me to write something specially for her I just couldn't believe it. My first reaction was 'buddy she is joking she is just pulling your leg'. But apparently she was not! First of all I am not a good poet. I am mediocre. Secondly, she knows how closely guarded I am with with poetry. I just dont share it with anybody. But she still asked me to write something for her and give it to her. And I can't say no to her.

So I wrote it and gave her the paper. Now let's see what happens. She will either like it or she won't like it at all. Let's wait and watch.

It's Time

The wind chime's lost, the charm is gone
Today I promise myself that I will move on!