Yesterday I said goodbye to a very good friend. And I realized that "goodbye" is probably the toughest word of English language.
We had shared so many things. We shared music, food, pranks, stories, poetry, gossip at the window. We were inseperable. She brought out two sides in me that I knew existed but never accepted them. She brought out the poet and the writer in me. She connected me back to my poetic side. No matter how melancholy this personality was, it brought me some relief. And the writer part, I owe it to her. She is my "alice". She truly is that nutty yet affalable character that everybody has loved so much. She never got to see the composer side. I never showed it to her. We did have one brief conversation about it but that's that. Nothing more. Someday I will share my compositions with her as well.
But I doubt if that someday will ever come. She doesn't have a good track record when it comes to staying in touch with friends. She has given me the virtuality bullshit too many times. And this time I am afraid it's going to be the same. After so many wonderful moments I am scared that we are going to be reduced to virtual friends who do know that the other exists but never get in touch or exchange a hello.
And now that she is gone I dont know how much we will be able to sustain. It has always been easy for people to let me go without fighting for me. This time it might be the same. I know parting was hard for her too. But it has to be seen whether she lets me go or holds on.
But for now all I can do is let her go, wish her luck with her new life, and wish somewhere deep down in my heart that we stay the same. I know its wishful thinking but at least I can wish. After all she is starting a new chapter in her life. She is going to the man she has always loved unconditionally.
So all the best "alice". May you keep smiling for the rest of your life.
We had shared so many things. We shared music, food, pranks, stories, poetry, gossip at the window. We were inseperable. She brought out two sides in me that I knew existed but never accepted them. She brought out the poet and the writer in me. She connected me back to my poetic side. No matter how melancholy this personality was, it brought me some relief. And the writer part, I owe it to her. She is my "alice". She truly is that nutty yet affalable character that everybody has loved so much. She never got to see the composer side. I never showed it to her. We did have one brief conversation about it but that's that. Nothing more. Someday I will share my compositions with her as well.
But I doubt if that someday will ever come. She doesn't have a good track record when it comes to staying in touch with friends. She has given me the virtuality bullshit too many times. And this time I am afraid it's going to be the same. After so many wonderful moments I am scared that we are going to be reduced to virtual friends who do know that the other exists but never get in touch or exchange a hello.
And now that she is gone I dont know how much we will be able to sustain. It has always been easy for people to let me go without fighting for me. This time it might be the same. I know parting was hard for her too. But it has to be seen whether she lets me go or holds on.
But for now all I can do is let her go, wish her luck with her new life, and wish somewhere deep down in my heart that we stay the same. I know its wishful thinking but at least I can wish. After all she is starting a new chapter in her life. She is going to the man she has always loved unconditionally.
So all the best "alice". May you keep smiling for the rest of your life.
BB she is going for good. n u promised me tht u were going to b strong. then y did u break down in front of tht woman and the cams?
ReplyDeletei dont know how this happened crissie. she just held my hand after i came back and i couldnt help it. i just broke down. it all came out.
ReplyDeletearghhh....
ReplyDeletehow dare you disclose me!!you promised u ll not! u r really dogle insaan!!
BUT the dearest one to me :)whatever you wrote I had seen it all in your eyes. And I guess you know what you mean for me.I hope you will always remember how precious you are.And remember I have entrusted you to yourself and you dare not breach my trust.Its damn difficult.Utter vacuum.Every moment we spent together will last forever.Yes I know you hate the 'memories lasting forever' and virtuality part..:) But I got to be on opposite side to you always na! Thats what makes two of us :) Aur fir Aap hi to mere saqi the, mere hamdard mere dost..na kabhi sharab chhutegi na saqi.
So my dear Ying, I am going to hound you for life, unlike I did with other friends. Coz you are not so lucky :(.Thing is, none of them were strong or smart enough to stand me, you see..:P
And I smell that you had a word with pig about me!??How dare you discuss me with her??I would have been honored if it had been 'Maa' but not the pig!
And I would like to close it with one of my favorite ghazals...
"Woh unhe yaad karein, jinko bhulaya ho kabhi..Hamne unko na kabhi bhulaya na kabhi yaad kiya..aaj mushkil sambhalna aye dost..tu musibat me ajab yaad aya..Dil dhadakne ka sabab yaad aayaa.."
Hey, this does nt end the post here...I am waiting for my answers/explantions.
1.How dare you disclose me!?Cite reasons.
2.Did you discuss me with pig?if yes,WHY? or How could you!?This is a breach of our NDA!
3.Where is the next part?YES, I am waiting and you promised me quick delivery.
4.my turn now,@Cristal, Do ask BB about my dream I told to her.She is too shy sharing it but you will have to dig it out.
And this 1 is to us, cheers-http://static2.bigstockphoto.com/thumbs/3/5/2/large2/2535893.jpg
Hey lady, she is d 1 who is never ever leave u i am sure. the way she never leaved me. I dunno I should be jealous on this or not. but I am not. She has some1 to be herself.
ReplyDeletei frankly took much time in digesting the depth of your relationship and I have lost my sences. I am glad 1 more to love her too much.
Your ALICE is my priority; a part of me. and a part of what I am not.
I am thankful for taking care of "MY PRECIOUS".
Stay Blessed always
hey krupa u r right. she is one rare person. i know u will take care of her like u always have. it has always been hard for me to let go. and it is harder when it comes to "alice". but i will always cherish the time i spent with her.
ReplyDeleteOhhhhhh BB looks like ur Alice is mad n u know best wht happens when Alice is unhappy. so all the best!!!
ReplyDeletedont scare me Crissie. dont give me visions of angry alice.
ReplyDeletebtw wht dream is she talking abt BB? n why r u shy of telling me abt it? since when did u feel uncomfortable talking abt things with me?
ReplyDeletethere is not dream and there is nothing to talk about. she is just kidding. i always share everything with u.
ReplyDeleteu alwys share almost everything. u leave little bits out. its ur "censored honesty" principle. i bet u r 99% open with me. u will not lie but u will stay silent. so u better tell me abt this dream part.
ReplyDelete@Cristal, my dream is actually dream of her life but she does not admit it.Especially wen you are part of it. :P
ReplyDelete@Joshi, dont you get so swit n senti abt me pls. I am blessed to have friends like you, in fact with you guys around I realize that the almighty is right there for me embodied.
ReplyDelete@At Dogle Insaan, All said and done, I am waiting for my answers as listed in prev. post. It was unfortunate from my side and probably purposefully from your side that we could not talk on it today, but the more you delay deadly are the results, and remember I can always tell my DREAM! :P
dont you dare try to explain your dream to her. this one has gone way out of my hands. and no it's not the dream of my life. and it was not only her there. even you were there. so just shut up about it and forget it. it's not going to happen.
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