That's right. She is back to all those dirty tricks and bloody nonsense. And this time she pushes the last straw of my patience. I always knew that one day she was going to use all her shitty nonsense with me and I was right. She has done it but without class. I am banned from going near her work station because I have the guts to say on her face that she is being unfair. I am no more invited there. I am no more welcomed there. But that's ok. That place was never my most favorite zone. But the thing that hurt the most is she banned my favorite person from talking to me. How can she even think she can do that? Who gave her the right to dictate our personal lives?
She starts a rumor that I am unhappy with my performance appraisal. I never said I was completely happy. But I also never said that I was unhappy. The only reason I was not able to show that I was happy is because I was busy being happy for a friend to think about what I was getting. Numbers and percentages never mattered to me. They still don't matter. What matters was knowing that my friend's bro achieved what he had been after for such a long time. In front of that, all numbers lose importance. But no I was portrayed as being unhappy. And then I am being portrayed as the villan who is about to spoil the company's work environment. Didn't she nod her head when I was told that I am a good person? Wasn't she the one who said that I was one person she would like to have for long time in her life? And now because I honestly tell her that I dont like something I am the enemy. What hurts the most is the person I care about is getting dragged into all this. I can't fight this bitch because it's going to hurt my favorite person and I can't do that. Maybe I should give up? Maybe I should just lay low and live an invisible life? I am used to it. I can live like I dont exist.
Like you said Crissy "Mind takes a little more time to accept what your heart already knows". Maybe its timne for me to accept that I am fighting a losing battle.
She starts a rumor that I am unhappy with my performance appraisal. I never said I was completely happy. But I also never said that I was unhappy. The only reason I was not able to show that I was happy is because I was busy being happy for a friend to think about what I was getting. Numbers and percentages never mattered to me. They still don't matter. What matters was knowing that my friend's bro achieved what he had been after for such a long time. In front of that, all numbers lose importance. But no I was portrayed as being unhappy. And then I am being portrayed as the villan who is about to spoil the company's work environment. Didn't she nod her head when I was told that I am a good person? Wasn't she the one who said that I was one person she would like to have for long time in her life? And now because I honestly tell her that I dont like something I am the enemy. What hurts the most is the person I care about is getting dragged into all this. I can't fight this bitch because it's going to hurt my favorite person and I can't do that. Maybe I should give up? Maybe I should just lay low and live an invisible life? I am used to it. I can live like I dont exist.
Like you said Crissy "Mind takes a little more time to accept what your heart already knows". Maybe its timne for me to accept that I am fighting a losing battle.
Hey what's this buddy? When in the hell did you start giving up? And weren't you the one who said if you ever have a tug of war between heart and mind follow the heart? Then why give up today? Dont talk like a loser. Remember you are a "banyan tree".
ReplyDeleteI am hurting her Crissy. The more I try the more I end up putting her in a bad position. The more I fight the more she gets hurt. I am just making her life a constant struggle. She might lose a lot of things here including her self respect. I can't let that happen. I am not worth more than that.
ReplyDeletei said stop talking like a loser. you are worth everythig here. if i were in her place giving you up would have never been an option for me. even today i would rather give up the world than lose you. you are too precious for me. you are ethereal and i will keep on telling u that as long as you dont believe me. you are ehtereal for me and i believe for her as well.
ReplyDeletei dont know anything anymore. i dont know what i am feeling. i just know one thing that i can stop all this nonsense.....
ReplyDeletewhy do i feel like u r breaking down there? this is enuf. i m calling u now!!!
ReplyDeletewe are taking this up tomorrow. Red flag.And I promise this time we will conclude it.No more ifs n buts.
ReplyDeleteand yes..sorry for being late on this..i take blame on me, i should hv been vigilant enough..genuinely sorry..but this is it.see u 2mo.
ReplyDelete