When Enough is Really Enough???

Nobody is perfect. Not even me. And so are my friendships. We all make mistakes. I have made mistakes. And there have been times when I have been given that one extra chance to make things right. And then there have been times when I have been denied that chance. But now that I am on the other side I dont know what to do. Should I give her one more chance to work things out or should I give up on her? I know I can go through a lot more than what I have been through till now. I can handle lot more pain and keep quiet. I know I have it in me. But just because I have it in me, should I really?

And then I think can I give it all up without making that final effort? Or more importantly, if I was in her shoes would I have wanted that last chance? Do I deserve to go through more bullshit or does she deserve one last chance from me?

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I rant and shout and its still not enough. Sorry use of wrong words - it doesn't make a difference.

Why is it so difficult for people to see things that are simple? Or I should say they see it but they pretend not to see it. That may be because of two reasons - they bloody well dont care or they just dont feel like owning up the responsibility and make a change. I hate people who just become indifferent towards the world.

And then there are people who just want to change every damn thing. They dont even take the time to appreciate what is already in place. All they focus on is changing what is already in place. They don't focus on enhancing what they already have. They focus on reinventing the whole wheel again. And then starts the rollercoaster ride that goes on in multiple loops without any end.

And the worst part? I end up dealing with people of both types. On one hand I have indifference and on other I have disregard. And both expect me to be the doer in their case! To hell with both of them!

And Its a Goal

Yeeeeeesssss!!!! I had set the ball rolling for something in my career a month back. And now the ball seems to have hit the goal post.

I got my first closure today. I am running short of words now to describe what it means to me. I have worked my ass off trying to get this thing going. And now it has finally found its steam. I am sure we will keep on improving and we have a lot more closures in the pipeline.

And now comes the real frustrating part. I know I have something good to celebrate. But celebrate with whom? My colleagues can't know about this thing. My flatmates dont know the importance of this closure. I am not supposed to talk to people about it in the office. People who compete with me have no idea what I have achieved. I did share it with one person though. That has been my saving grace.

Its like you are given a reason to smile but you are not allowed to smile.

Rains in Desert

Have you ever felt rains in a parched desert land? The feeling is indescribable. But that's how I felt today.

Given that it was a Saturday, I had a lunch date with one of my friends. And it just happened to be so good. This friend and me - we have shared so much together. We have even been nicknamed the siamese twins by a few jealous people. But as if we ever cared. And then we all of a sudden lost that touch with each other. I always felt that we were together and yet we were not. I was busy getting things rolling and she was busy doing things. It felt like we were talking to each other and yet never shared anything. We seemed to have reached an unspoken agreement of not ruffling each other's feathers. We talked office politics and I thought what the hell are we doing. Why are we talking about some idiot who doesn't matter. Why are we not telling each other what's been going on. Or for that matter why am I not feeling comfortable telling her what's been going on with me.

But after today's lunch I feel light and good. It feels like I have my crazy friend back. We talked. I told her things from some of the deepest parts of my heart. And she being she joked and laughed and cheered me up.

If this is what it feels like to have rains in the desert I want to feel it again.

Moon River

If you are an Audrey Hepburn fan then you all know about Breakfast at Tiffany's. This is one song where Audrey lent her voice and made it almost angelic. Enjoy!

This One is For Me

What do I say? Finally I have been reduced to the level of a comic character. But at least it's my favorite character - the scrat.

Sigh the ever elusive and oblivious acorn!

Feel Good

Ok I have been feeling good lately. And you tezdhaar are the reason for it. Having you join the WB gang has been really wonderful. You have made me feel real good about it.

And that brings me to the new Coca Cola ad. Prasoon Joshi excels in this one again. Very rarely do we come across ads that remind us how beautiful the world still is despite all its nonsense. Bravo for this one!